Going Cold Cream, er, Turkey?

Remember this post about imperfection/perfection? Just thought you should know, I'm working up to the "no make-up" thing. I've done it before on quick outings to Trader Joe's after a run or bike ride or doing other "physical" things, because even I think it's stupid to wear make-up while working out. And perfume. Seriously, do not put on a gallon of perfume to go to the track. Those of us running need to breathe oxygen, not Chanel. But anyway, I haven't really gone without in a social setting with friends and, gasp, cute boys, unless you count when the make-up has been washed off by some adventure involving water - like swimming or a log flume ride. But over this past week I dropped two regulars on the make-up front, one every day and one now and then. I'm planning on going without for at least a bit while away for Thanksgiving - and yes, there will be friends and boys around. I know. No one that I'm aware I really need to impress, but still. It's kind of a big step to letting down my guard. Just, no pictures please. I'm not quite there yet. : )

The 11 Year Old Boy in All of Us

I'm trying to think of something to post just so I can push that "Low Five" photo down the blog post queue a bit. It is still funny, but... Surprisingly, or maybe not, it's been the girls that find this photo (or my description of it at parties) hilarious. The guys have all just sort of smiled and looked uncomfortable. I can't decide if it's because they're weirded out that pretty girls in skirts and dresses have an 11 year old boy's sense of humor lurking inside them or if the story hits too close to home. When asked, one guy said he thought it was amusing but not hilarious because the 11 year old boy in him grew up to be a man.

I was talking to another friend of mine who has some really interesting and well-thought-out ideas about masculinity and godly masculinity. He has been growing in his faith by leaps and bounds and really sees the lack of true masculinity in the Christian community, as God laid out, as a tide that must be turned. We've had several conversations about what a man of God is and for the most part, I agree with him. Although yesterday he did say something to the effect of how a mature woman can get away with things that a mature man can't and still be considered mature. I'd just said something about how I still watch Saturday morning cartoons and he used this to illustrate his point, saying if a guy still watched cartoons on Saturdays, there was probably something off about him, unless he needed to for work or research or something - like he was an animator or a voice actor. But a girl can do it and not be considered silly or immature.

I thought that was a little off. Not only are there some really good stories out there in cartoon-land but a lot of them are very innocent (not talking about Seth's shows here, which are funny, but for adults). You can watch kids' cartoons for hours and never once see a questionable sexual situation, hear offensive language, or reach for the eye bleach because you were just not expecting that guy to be wearing THAT. And yet there is still adventure, wonder, funny jokes, moving characters, beautiful artwork, and shiny happy colors. Shouldn't a man be able to enjoy the innocent fun of that just as much as a woman and not be considered immature for it? I mean, okay, if a guy told me he got up every Saturday to watch 6 hours of cartoons, yeah, I'd find that odd. Even I don't do that. I just catch them if I can. I certainly don't plan my Saturdays around cartoons or anything. But being able to just enjoy them... I think a real man should be comfortable enough in his masculinity to find joy once in a while in innocent fun like cartoons and not care how it makes him look to others.

Besides, if that "real man" has kids some day... Come on! How many dads do you see having more fun with their kids' toys than the kids? We can be mature, grown, good men and women but we should never lose touch with the child inside us. That's how we'll relate to our children some day. That's what will keep us grounded as adults. Not to mention "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14). God calls himself our father and we are his children. How can we learn to relate to him in this way if we lose touch with our inner 11-year old? Balance, it's all about balance.

On another note, last night my roommate and I heard really loud, deep booms or explosions down the street towards Fairfax/Miracle Mile. A lot of them. We didn't see any fireworks though. Helicopters and cop cars came out right after the booms started. And our Israeli neighbor literally ran out of his apartment, jumped in his car, and headed towards the sounds while exclaiming, "This is how it sounds in the war!"

Later we found out it was indeed fireworks, probably from the Grove's tree-lighting ceremony (thanks for the tip S-H!), but I'm wondering if the cops knew it would be that loud. It made me wonder what we'd do if something actually did explode or we actually did get bombed... I'll probably stick with my neighbor. He seemed to know the drill.

Because it is FUNNY

I laughed so hard I cried. I can't remember the last time that happened. Yes, I have the sense of humor of an 11 year old boy.


more Fail Dogs

Blog Vomit Friday

I have clicked on the "New Post" tab at least once every day since the last post. But the problem is, I haven't had enough of one thought to actually make a proper post. So I think, "I'll wait until that thought resolves itself in some way." Then it doesn't. And you don't get a new post.

So instead of giving you a well-thought out post about something interesting, I'm just going to blog vomit all over you. Yeah, I thought it was a gross phrase too, but I'm going to go with it anyway. : )

I ate a sliver of pumpkin pie just now. One of my hairs got in it though. At least I'm telling myself it was my hair because that somehow makes it less hurl-inducing if it was my own hair that I pulled out from the back of my throat while swallowing pumpkin mush. It was red. I'm sticking with it being mine. And I can still sort of feel it on the back of my throat, like a ghost hair.

Speaking of pumpkin mush, I roasted a whole pumpkin this week. SO EASY. You just get a sugar pumpkin, wash it, rub some olive on the skin, stick it in the oven for about an hour at 400, and when a fork can easily pierce the skin, done! Then you can peel it, scoop out the seeds and roast them in various ways, mash up the pumpkin meat, use it to cook and bake, or freeze it for some other day. Genius.

Speaking of genius, my acupuncturist is my favorite. She got a HUGE knot/sore spot thing to release yesterday. At first I wanted to melt into the table the needle hurt so much. But then in a second there was this tangible "release" and everything felt so much better and I could move my arm in a way I couldn't before. I also thought about how, with the left-side curse, what if the right side is dominating because it had to compensate for the first few initial injuries? And now it's dominating because it doesn't know how to stop? And so the creative/spontaneous "left" side of me is being oppressed too because it's been going on for so long and that's why I'm having so much writer's block and stuff like that? I had this thought while I was resting in the room with the needles still in me. I could feel a kind of tingle through my body and I'm pretty sure they left me in the room way longer than 20 minutes. But at least I got a good nap before the massage/torture/release phase.

Speaking of naps, I really want to sleep. All the time. Like right now. That probably isn't a good thing, right?

Speaking of good things, I'm trying not to eat too much chocolate. I saw "Super Size Me" the other day and when he said the same drug that makes heroine users stop wanting to get high also makes chocolate eaters not want to eat chocolate... Well, I figured I should cut back to maybe once a week. I was immediately thwarted by chocolate cake at home group, a pastry at an event that looked harmless but was actually filled with chocolate, and my own inability to resist after two days of failure. Last night I went without. Tonight, I'm going to a party and guess what I was asked to bring. Yep. Chocolate.

Speaking of parties. I've been going to a lot of them. The holidays make everyone party-crazy. I think I have some sort of party every weekend from now until Christmas! I'm also planning the big 3-0 party. I have a band. A sound system. Working on my song. Working on a location. Also, if 40 is the new 20, then I'm going to be the new 10. I guess that explains the knee socks and my love of cartoons.

Speaking of love, I really want to do it better. God tells us to love others the way he does, to hold ourselves to standard of relationship that recognizes all people as valuable to him. So if you think about it, we shouldn't just be getting riled by adults abusing children and governments committing genocide. We should also not be okay with being rude to one another, with hurting someone's feelings, or just not being good stewards of our friendships. But all that is really hard to do. But I want to try. Just don't expect me to be awesome at it right away.

Speaking of awesome, I can still totally feel that ghost hair. Awesome.

The Left Side of My Body is Cursed -or- Why Eastern Medicine is My Friend

I went to the acupuncturist yesterday for my first treatment after the "truck" incident. I walked in and the doctor saw me at the admin desk as she was heading into a room with another patient. She smiled brightly and said "Hi Saaaaaraaaaaah! It's been a while. Good to see you. How are you?" And then, are you ready for this?, she waited a moment while I answered and then said she'd be with me soon.

During the visit she listened to my questions about the whole "left side" thing and told me that in Eastern medicine, the left side represents blood and liver. (*Note to self: research this.) She said we should focus on removing the "shock" from my shoulder and neck first and then see about the other things. She also recommended acupressure massage after the acupuncture. Together, they are supposed to promote faster healing.

I laid on the table with the needles "opening my meridians" and working on my pain for a good 25 minutes. I could feel the energy rushing around my body and my muscles relaxing.

I got up, feeling like I'd been asleep, and she ushered me into the next room where 2 other women were waiting. The room suddenly became a-buzz with "Hello Saaaaaraaaaaaahs" and the chirpy voices of small Asian women discussing my condition in their native Korean. It was a decidedly happy sound and I thought that maybe part of the beauty of being healed this way is that it is coming from women who care about healing, nurturing, and whole-wellness. Maybe that's why my body responds to this treatment and rejects anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers and doctors who don't know my first name let alone who are happy to see me.

The acupressure massage therapist began working on me after the other woman did a few more quick, but deeper, sticks with the needles. Oh boy did my muscles hurt! She massaged with so much strength and at first I was sure this would make things worse. But eventually, the muscles around my shoulder and neck started to relax more and by the end, I felt decidedly more loose and less inflamed. Awesome! I still hurt and ache, especially if I am driving for more than a few minutes or try to lift anything, anything including my arm above my head. But the continuous aching from earlier this week is subsiding!

The only strange thing was that to massage me, she covered me in a sheet and did it through the sheet. I was fully clothed. I don't quite get it, except that maybe it creates less friction?

When I got home that night, I was a puddle of mush - happy, shock-detoxing mush. And I slept very well.

Looking forward to the next few sessions. It may not take so long to heal up this time. Which is good because the truck driver still has not returned my auto insurance's calls.

Good Insurance, Bad Insurance

I am having a very interesting week and it's only Tuesday.

Remember the whole "fishhook in my hand" incident? The one where the ER and ER doctor gave me horrible service and I complained and they gave me a discount on my bill? Well, on Saturday, I got a bill in the mail for almost $300 for the DOCTOR. Apparently he was "out of network" even though when I inquired the hospital said they were "in network." It seems that the doctor can have different affiliations than the hospital and "there is no way the admin desk at the ER would know that." Hmmmm.... So yet again, I have to write a strongly worded letter and see what happens.

On another front, the "getting hit by a truck while walking" incident is moving along. I had my follow-up visit with the doctor yesterday. Of course, I was supposed to have it today but I got the dates mixed up. Maybe I was thinking of my dentist appointment which is NEXT Monday or maybe it was the continuous ache in my shoulder that drove me to insanity, but either way, I showed up and it took them half an hour to realize I wasn't supposed to be there. 3 hours and two car-moves later (stupid 1 hour parking) they managed to fit me in. I would've just left but they kept telling me "just a few more minutes" and "you're already here" so I stayed.

But I was a mess by then. My shoulder hurt. I'd been away from the office too long and missed an editor who'd stopped by. I was hot and sweaty from having to hike to and from my car twice in the 90 degree November heat (?!) and when the nurse said I now had "just two patients ahead of me," I started to tear up and things like "I just want to stop hurting" came out of my blubbery mouth.

Eventually the doctor, who really is a lovely man, came in and calmed me down and re-evaluated the shoulder. He prescribed more acupuncture since I'm allergic to most anti-inflamatories and PT didn't help me the last time I had a similar injury. He also cautioned me not to rely on the guy who hit me to do the right thing on his own because he's seen too many of these cases go bad. The acupuncture appointment guy did the same thing. And so when I got back to the office I called my auto insurance company to see if they could tell me what to do.

Turns out, I have the nicest auto insurance company ever - Unitrin Direct. My medical insurance could learn a thing or two from them. It seems that the auto policy actually covers injuries sustained by an accident involving a vehicle, even if I was a pedestrian at the time. My policy has up to $1000 of medical coverage and they tell me that since it was not a liability claim, my rates won't go up!

I told the adjuster that I didn't want to have to file a claim, that I wanted the the driver to take responsibility, but I wasn't sure how to make that happen. I asked him if I needed to contact him to try to get his insurance info and he said "No, no. I'll do that. I'll take care of everything." So the process has begun!

If I were the driver, I wouldn't want this on my record, but since he didn't give me the proper info and did not offer to pay for my medical expenses, just "Let me know and we'll see," I wasn't sure what to do. I don't want to end up in a position where I've paid out-of-pocket for treatment and then he decides not to pay. I also learned it's illegal to let an accident with injury go unreported to the DMV so I had to file a report too. I've had too many problems to not do this the right way. Sorry dude. Next time, don't tint your windows so dark you can't see pedestrians.

But seriously, I was so thankful for how smooth the whole process was today. I'm waiting for my claims form and I made my acupuncture appointment. I have to pay for the visit up front and then submit it to the insurance folks for reimbursement. Credit card, get ready for some action!

And on another note, my lovely co-worker did the nicest thing! Last week I admired her amazing orange jacket with all these great brass buttons. She had me try it on and it fit pretty well. Today she brought it in, freshly laundered, and gave it to me!!! What a great thing to do! I'm still smiling! I may have to take it in around the waist just a smidge so I can have the fitted look I like, but that will be easy. And I'm going to wear it everywhere! It's really cool. I want to do more things like that for people too. It's just good for the soul.

Halloween Goodness

More blogs with words later, but in the meantime, here are photos of pumpkin spice cookies I made with fresh pumpkin I roasted and pureed myself! And me as Jane Jetson for Halloween. I also made an AWESOME gluten-free pumpkin bread, decorated with "pumpkin spice" roasted pumpkin seeds, but forgot to photograph it before it was devoured.

I will snap a pic of my fresh apple pie tonight before it meets the same fate. : )

Left Side - Energy, Qi, Femininity. What does it all mean?

You ask, I research - for about 20 minutes. This is what I found so far. Thoughts? (Italics are me...)

"Left side of the body is feminine, Right side is masculine. Imbalances in our energy will also cause symptoms to manifest on one side or another, depending on where our lessons lie. Are you able to receive in life? Problems on the left side can mirror your ability to receive. Problems on the right side can mirror your ability to be giving." Hmmmm, I definitely find it easier to give than to receive. Asking for help... I hate feeling weak.


"Over-analysis, or over-concentrating from the left brain will tend to make dancers rather rigid and mechanical, lead by the right side of the body. It is very common for dancers from western backgrounds to begin and perform most moves on the right side of the body. In the Middle East however, you will notice that the dancers are much stronger on the left side and often the entire dance move is lead by the left hip. The left side of the body, ruled by the creative right brain enjoys the feminine principles of intuition, inwardness and deep feeling. Surrender, creative expression and flow are feminine and can open these intuitive channels in both men and women - in fact, any style of dance with a balance of structure and feeling can balance the masculine/feminine energies." I do find it interesting that I feel most stagnant in a lot of my creative pursuits. I was more creative when I was younger. Especially since moving to Los Angeles, I feel that part of my identity has been hidden because there are sooooo many creative people here, it's the non-creative stuff I can do well that always seems to stand out.


"Incidentally, I found a few sites that mentioned when patients stopped eating wheat their left-side symptoms ceased. I’ll assume this has something to do with spleen enlargement and the lymph’s ability to detoxify." Why is wheat suddenly the enemy of everything? Didn't wheat save entire civilizations way back when? Hmph.


"The left channel ("Ida Nadi" in Sanskrit) is also called the Moon Channel. It begins at the Mooladhara (1st chakra) and runs up the left side, crossing over at the Agnya Chakra (6th center) into the temple and superego on the right side of the brain. It provides the conduit for the energy of our desire. (Uh-huh. I totally understand this completely... :s)

From these desires or wishes, our emotions are triggered. Emotions are actually desires that have not yet materialized. (Never thought of it like that. Interesting.) These desires and the attendant feelings about them travel through this left channel to the appropriate places in the body to bring about the actions of fulfillment. Our desires are essential for action. Without their impetus we would have nothing to act upon. (So does this mean if your desires are going unfulfilled, your left side gets all weak and whiney?)

The greatest quality of the left side is to provide joy which is the steady condition of the Spirit. You may remember having this joy as a child, or you may have observed it in small two- or three-year-old children. They usually wake up in the morning happy. While they may experience physical and emotional pain once in a while throughout their day, they do not cling to it with memory. Rather, they cry, recover, and resume the steady state of joy.

The desire for this joy is still alive inside us the same as it was when we were infants. It may be blocked or covered with "tarnish" from emotional or physical injuries experienced in living life. Before Sahaja Yoga, we did not have effective techniques for clearing away the hurts and blows that are normal in living active life. The practice of Sahaja Yoga helps us remove those old tensions and recover that joy as a steady state of being. (Where can I find this yoga and how much does it cost?)

Problems of the left side tend to result in passivity or emotional extremism whereby we are thrown between elation and depression. With this type of imbalance, self-discipline becomes difficult and bad habits become hard to correct. In the worst case, we become lethargic and self-obsessed. Because this channel feeds also into the skull area, pressure on the brain becomes excessive. This cycle is what causes such problems as mental breakdown, epilepsy, and senility (decay of the brain)." Eek! I can do without the mental breakdowns, though I can see maybe how this passivity thing could get weighty. I do seem to constantly be giving in to my roommate's habits/preferences about not cleaning and other things of that nature. I chose to ignore or live with it because I don't want conflict at home. Maybe that's weighing on me?


"Intuition, feelings, openness, and unselfishness govern the feminine side of our natures. The masculine side is characterized by logic, facts, systems, and self-interest. If you are giving too much to others to the detriment of yourself, your feminine side may be overactive and your right side may need strengthening, to speak up on your behalf, protecting and conserving your energy. If your life is too rigidly structured, your masculine aspect may be overactive; developing your feminine aspect will bring a more open-ended and creative approach. (Sounds good to me. Down with rigidity and the pursuit of unattainable perfection. I need some fun!)

Maintaining harmony between the left side and the right side, the feminine and masculine, is a key to wholeness. We can foster awareness of our own relative state of balance by tuning in to our bodies. When you close your eyes and scan your body, what do you see? You may find that most of your ailments, from acne to muscle tension, occur on the left side of your body. This might indicate that your feminine aspect is out of balance in some way. Similarly, if you notice a lot of tension in your right shoulder, perhaps your masculine side is overtaxed or weakened. Just noticing an imbalance is the beginning of healing it. Some imbalances may be long-standing, and it may take time to bring your system into equilibrium. Remember to be gentle with yourself and listen to your body. Over time, doing this can guide you to a dynamic state of inner and outer balance. "

Very interesting. I really want to go talk to my acupuncturist about all this. But my insurance is now treating all acupuncture as "out of network" and it costs even more now... Sigh.

What do you readers think? Suggestions?